Devyn-Wolf

i stare outside the window and i wonder what goes on the pain behind this glass brims upon the surface but i push it down below down below, where old pain festers and i keep it there for years behind a secret mask and i stare outside the window and wonder what goes on all the people with nameless faces all the faces with empty eyes wander toward their calling and live in their own sadness i stare outside the window

the flame dances to a silent beat twisting, always searching for more to burn hypnotizing in its glowing heat the warmth for which cold hearts yearn take the flame, keep it in your chest the fire of life, fierce and bright passion, love and glory--nothing less shown before your eyes, the guiding light

sorrow like an open wound bleeding out buried memories ever-present, heavy weighing down my entire being how can the wound heal? so many years grieving alone in suffocating sadness forcing tight smiles and phrases convincing others of my normality hiding behind humour and busywork my misery clouding all judgement breeding mistrust, fear, anxiety it waits, poised and ready a crushing weight on my chest the pressure intensifies then explodes, darkness again it takes me

unsure what is a day spent waiting for that reproachful look the glint in the eye that tells me i'm not wanted not loved a lilt in a phrase that tells me this time it was just a joke in isolation so long i forgot how to touch souls with someone

I remember the days when I would have blended right in walking round at a place like this. That big bright ball in the sky shone down today, making the birds sing and the kids play. They were scuffing their feet and callin' out to each other, laughing and making a game of it. I stuck out like a sore thumb in my ratty old clothes and with my long white beard. I'm the kind of person that you look at me, and you know what I am. Well, you can take a good guess of it at least. I hear those kids playing and I miss the days when I could have been included in their fun. Now all I get is looks and scorn from people like them. I fought for this country

lost innocence like a crumpled doe on the side of the road drive by feel the sadness when you see death glassy eyes hide the fear beneath them unceremonious a loss with no one to mourn

whisper of a seabirds wing the scent of saline on the wind rhythmically, the water laps at the land and i feel i must consult with the ocean once again when met with vast horizons of changing color and the pulse of waves the cacophony of thought melts away like water through the rocks into that rhythm the pulse of the sea

The Diagnosis I was sitting in a boring waiting room, staring at my feet wishing I was at a normal doctor's office. I hated waiting rooms. Outdated magazines, strangers with ailments, stale air--and of course all the waiting. I knew I shouldn't have had that mocha a few minutes ago; caffeine tended to kick my nerves into hyper-drive and could feel anxiety radiating through me. I was watching my right foot tapping away to some unheard melody, wondering if I had any physical control over it when I heard a sugary voice cut through the silence like molasses. "Do you want a piece of gum, honey?" For a moment, I couldn't help bu